Selected Tales

Ashes To Ashes is Gene-ius

2008-01-16T13:38:00.000Z

Don't usually read The Sun online, but this caught my eye...

FIRE up the Quattro . . . beer swilling, spaghetti hoop-munching hardman DCI Gene Hunt has swaggered back in Life On Mars spin-off Ashes To Ashes.

I saw the first episode last night.

It is 1981 and the gang have moved to London to shake up those poncey Southerners.

DI Alex Drake (Keeley Hawes) arrives after being shot in the head in 2008 then apparently going back in time.

Her job as a top psychological profiler means she's all clued up on Hunt after reading a report on Sam Tyler, the time-travelling cop from Life On Mars.

But that doesn't stop her fainting when she realises where she is (well you would pass out if you were given such a dodgy blow-dry).

Alex finally tells Hunt: "I invented this world" and Hunt hisses back: "I invented the bruise-free groin punch!"

Might we have a couple of New Romantics on our hands?

I was hoping Ashes would live up to the hype and believe me it does, with Philip Glenister, as Hunt, at his absolute best.

Crack open a bottle of Asti Spumanti and enjoy when it airs on BBC1 from mid February.

Millais at Tate Britain

2008-01-15T09:05:00.000Z

Went to see the Millais exhibition at Tate Britain on Saturday. Really enjoyed Sir John’s Pre-Raphaelite work which – obviously – is much more vivid and arresting when you see the originals.

Ophelia is magnificent and the detail in the plants was a revelation. It’s such a beautiful, still image of something so tragic.

Conversely Millais’s ‘fancy’ pictures were appalling chocolate-box sentimentality, the most famous being the Pear’s soap advert, Bubbles. Hard to believe it’s the same painter.

St Vincent @ Bush Hall, London

2008-01-11T15:12:00.000Z

Friday, 30 November 2007

“My secret name is Annie,” says the pretty, petite and knowingly winsome Miss Clark AKA St Vincent, after enthralling, beguiling and elating in equal measure the capacity crowd at Bush Hall. Of course it doesn’t come as a shock to the gathered devotees that’s she’s not really a bona fide canonized saint. And she’s certainly isn’t an obscure Roman martyr executed beyond the walls of the city of Rome on the road to Tivoli in Italy (the historical St Vincent, don’tcha know?).

Splitting off to go solo from the Polyphonic Spree, if it continues to work out for her, just think, she could inspire the 27 other ‘phonics to follow in her wake... Maybe they parted company because Annie didn’t get on with Spree leader Tim DeLaughter’s new dress code – the band’s stage attire switched from flowing choir gowns to black army uniforms earlier this year. More likely her growing collection of heartfelt skewed pop songs forced her up the front and away from the histrionics of the Polyphonics.

Despite her fragile appearance, Annie is a confident and consummate performer and she’s assembled a complimentary backing band for this intimate show. Accompanied by violin, bass and drums, St V plays effects-enhanced electric guitar in a set made up almost entirely of songs from her debut album, Marry Me.

But it’s when the accompaniment exits the stage and Annie is left truly solo that she really shines. She’s funny and feisty. During an exquisite reading of the album’s title track, she sings: “Let’s do what Mary and Joseph did / Without the kid.” This lyrical witticism provokes a shriek of laughter from a girl in the crowd (it’s on the album, dear). Annie looks over at her, then back at the audience. “She’s just got it,” says Miss Clark.

And there can’t be many that haven’t ‘got’ her precious pop songs by the end of the set. Except perhaps the twit squatting at the back playing games on his mobile throughout this delightful gig. Delightful, yes. Sounds twee, I know – but you had to be there.

(4½/5)

Rosie

2008-01-11T14:56:00.000Z

Rosie the cat!

"This is absolutely idiocy..."

2007-12-14T13:23:00.001Z

The Guardian has posted an article with links to genuine 999 calls by idiot members of the public wanting to know the date, wanting to speak to the Prime Minister, wanting to know where Homebase is... but this is the best:
A man has dialled 999 to say that his wife has gone out without leaving him any food to eat

Communications operator: "Hello police"

Caller: "My wife's left me two salmon sandwiches which was left over from last night... and I'm a sat in the chair here and she's out there decorating. She won't put any food on or anything for anybody, I don't know what...."

Communications operator: "I'm sorry but I really can't take this. It's not an emergency because your wife won't give you anything to eat."

There's lots more here:
Crackdown on nuisance 999 calls

Survivors remake

2007-11-22T12:46:00.000Z

Survivors for BBC One

Another classic series comes back to the BBC. Although as well known as Doctor Who, Survivors was a brilliant series, at its best it was disturbing, thought provoking and exciting.

Can't help wondering if the BBC would have preferred to remake Blake's 7, though. But the rights were taken up a few years ago by an independent company. They promised a TV mini series, but it turned out to be a radio show released on CD.

Time Crash

2007-11-19T10:13:00.000Z

Great stuff! Must stop watching it... oh, just once more.

Wet vet meets geek chic...

2007-11-16T10:57:00.000Z

BBC - Doctor Who - News - Watch Crash, Raise Cash!

Time Crash

I'm looking forward to the event of the, um, month? David Tennant and Peter Davison star in a special 'scene' (probably around 7 mins long with credits), and it's written by top Doctor Who scribe Steven Moffat.

Part of the 15-hour (or at least that's what it feels like) Children in Need extravaganza, we'll probably turn off the television set and do something less boring instead when it's over. Or stick around to watch John Barrowman (Torchwood's Captain Jack) sing a song -- maybe he'll do a duet with the Face of Boe?

London to ban plastic bags?

2007-11-13T12:38:00.000Z

Q&A: Plastic bags

Hooray if it's true. It would be great if everyone did it voluntarily, but spend ten minutes in any supermarket and you'll find it hard to spot anyone refusing, reusing or bringing along a bag for life.

I wrote an article for /thoughts magazine about this very subject: www.emergingculture.co.uk

It's not on their website, so here it is:

Bag to the future

I was watching a TV show from the 1970s - an episode of Nigel Kneale's Beasts called 'What Big Eyes'. It's a horror story about a pet shop owner who's trying to turn into a werewolf by injecting himself with wolf's blood. I was horrified. Not about the story, that was great, but while watching one of the scenes something made me shudder...

Someone pops into the pet shop and buys some dog food. And the shopkeeper - a lady who's thankfully not trying to turn into a werewolf - gives the customer a red plastic bag. I felt cold.

The reason for the chill was this: I realised that the plastic bag still exists. The set has been dismantled, the dog food eaten, the actors involved may have retired or died. But the plastic bag is still out there. Waiting .

If the plastic bag ended up on landfill it will take up to 1,000 years to degrade. This means that every plastic bag you have ever owned still exists. So if you're around for the next millennium in the year 3,000 (when hopefully we won't be plagued by pet shop owning werewolves) you can celebrate the end of all the plastic bags manufactured in the 20th century.

Then we can all breathe a sigh of relief. The red plastic bag is no more. Or is it? Unfortunately, when it breaks down the resulting plastic particles are highly toxic, contaminating soil and water. Japanese researchers found that debris from plastic bags act like a sponge for toxic chemicals, soaking up a million-fold greater concentration of deadly compounds like PCBs and DDE. No, I'm not entirely sure what they are either. Except that they are bad. Really bad.

In 2002, polythene bags were banned in Bangladesh, after it was found they blocked drainage systems and helped to cause the floods that submerged two-thirds of the country in 1988 and 1998. More than 1,000 people died and millions were left homeless. Perhaps we Christian should refuse plastic bags? I could be wrong, but I think it's what God would want.

Well, I've given up accepting plastic bags when shopping and you might like to do the same. But here's a few words of warning because it's not easy. Firstly you need to be prepared. You need to buy bags for life. Not 'a bag' for life - and I can't stress this enough - you will need more than one. Then you need to populate your life with them. Keep some at home, three or four in the back of the car, one in your draw at work, one in your handbag or manbag.

Now comes the difficult part. Once you have gathered your goods and arrived at the checkout you must utter the incantation: 'It's OK I don't need a bag'. This may need to be said a number of times as you may be greeted with surprise, confusion, even alarm from the checkout staff. People will stare. No one will help you as you put your shopping in the bag for life - they're trained not to.

After you've carried the goods home and returned the reusable bag to it's its convenient spot, you can then sleep sound at night knowing that you haven't poisoned the future. Best not to think about the werewolves though.

GP and me

2007-09-28T12:59:00.000+01:00

I've finally added my second big interview at Greenbelt with author GP Taylor. He was a really friendly guy and we chatted for a few minutes afterwards - he asked a few questions about me, which is quite rare. Usually interviewees dash off straight away. And he was happy to autograph a copy of Wormwood for my good friend Marc.

Overcome by the light - GP Taylor interview at Greenbelt 2007

Not a complete wanker...

2007-09-13T16:25:00.000+01:00

A broken hallelujah - Kathryn Williams interview at Greenbelt 2007

Here's the interview I carried out with Kathryn Williams at Greenbelt this year. She provided me with of the best moments of the festival. After we'd finished I said to her, Was that OK? She replied, Yes, it's nice to speak to someone who isn't a complete wanker. So it's official, I'm not a complete wanker.

Beer and Hymns

2007-09-11T16:03:00.000+01:00

The Jesus Arms, home to beer and hymns at Greenbelt 2007. Sometimes the simplest ideas are the best - hope it's back next year.

St Peter's Ale is my favourite beer, but they kept running out of it at the Organic Beer Tent, and I was reduced to drinking cider!

The Years Between at the Orange Tree

2007-09-10T16:57:00.000+01:00

To celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary we went to the Orange Tree Theatre in Richmond. Rather unforgivably, I'd never been to this 200-or-so seater venue before. It advertises itself as a 'pocket-size National Theatre'. It's a nice little venue and the performance space is in the round. Although there were a few younger people around, it was mostly the more mature crowd you would expect to find at Guildford's Yvonne Arnaud. Which is a shame as it has quite a relaxed atmosphere and is a bit cheaper than most Surrey theatres.

The play was The Years Between by By Daphne du Maurier. It was quite an intriguing tale, set toward the end of the Second World War, about a woman who believes her husband to have been killed in combat. As she takes control of her life she finds a new role for herself out of the shadow of her charismatic, rather overbearing husband. The not-too-surprising twist is that her husband is in fact alive, and when he comes home three years later they both struggle to adjust to the changes that took place the years between.

It is fairly low-key play, set in one room, with the 'action' mostly consisting of conversation, and a little tension. The play was enjoyable, but didn't quite capture the imagination. However, it was interesting to ponder the affect that the war had on those were left behind, as much as those who went away to fight. Particularly as my paternal grandmother divorced her husband shortly after he came back from the war.

Before the play, we had a meal at Matsuba Japanese Restaurant, and I had some Korean medley of beef, vegetables, rice and an egg, with a spicy that the attentive waitress span for me.

The Hunting of the White Stag

2007-09-10T15:22:00.000+01:00

Continuing our wedding anniversary celebrations, we paid a visit to Petworth House in West Sussex on Saturday (10 September). Planning to use the opportunity to justify our 2007 National Trust membership, we arrived to find it was a heritage day so entry was free! Curses!

After a picnic, we toured the house which was pretty standard for an English stately home until you reached the art gallery. It had a wonderful collection that included works by Turner, Van Dyck, Titian, Bosch, Reynolds and William Blake.

The Blake was a particular delight, his visionary etchings making a sharp contrast to the more traditional works on display. The picture here is Blake’s The Last Judgment.

We took a look at the well-preserved kitchens and servant’s quarters, and also a rather dull guided tour of the administrative offices – empty 19th century estate agents’ offices.

The moment of the day was watching a white stag stride (if that’s what stags do) majestically over a hill in the extensive grounds – very Narnia.

Billy Bragg at Greenbelt 2007

2007-09-10T11:27:00.001+01:00

Billy Bragg on the mainstage at Greenbelt 2007
Originally uploaded by ymca.greenbelt

Greenbelt was over two weeks ago now. I'm planning to write up my interview with Kathryn Williams this week. Sadly Billy Bragg's management didn't come back to me.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull...

2007-09-10T11:06:00.000+01:00

...is the name of the fourth film in the series. Looking forward to it, but will a more mature Mr Ford convince as Indie?

Resistance is useless...

2007-09-10T10:22:00.000+01:00

I've been feeling for sometime that I need a way to record things. My memory isn’t the best and I’m a writer so I can’t afford to lose thoughts. So this is just a way for me to put things together, thoughts, images, links, videos and it’s just for my benefit for now.

In 2005 the BBC reported that there is a blog created every second, and the number is doubling every five months:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4737671.stm

But, as we all know, most of these start with enthusiasm and are abandoned after a few posts. Most are updated every few months with something like this:

‘Sorry I haven’t blogged for ages, I’ll update soon on my adventures...’

Hopefully, I won’t be doing the same.